Sleepovers Today: Bonding or Just Screen Time Together?

In this modern digital age, everything is so accessible. Apps on our phones mean we no longer need to pick up food from a restaurant or go out to socialize or date. We can do all of that from the convenience of a screen. Has this made us lazier as a society? Yes. I think it’s also made it harder for us to identify social cues. Social awkwardness is on the rise, and it’s become more difficult to gauge genuine connections through apps. Most importantly, it seems to have reduced our bonding time with friends and family.

The internet wasn’t a part of my life until I was about 13 or 14. And even though I’m someone who often feels social anxiety in a room full of people, I can still acknowledge that most of us, even when we’re with people we love, are frequently distracted by screens. One minute we’re connecting face to face, and the next, we’re swiping through Tinder or checking our Instagram feeds, wondering if our follower count has gone up.

As a preteen growing up in Mexico, the only screens that caught my attention were TV screens. One of the most popular ways we built deeper connections with friends was through sleepovers. I haven’t been invited to one in decades, possibly due to my age. An almost-40-year-old spending the night with women her age might seem odd. (Although, if there are women out there who still do this, I’d love to hear from you.)

Back then, we had to be creative. We had to think about games and activities to keep each

other entertained and coming back. In my case, we’d jump on the trampoline, order pizza, and watch movies. Of course, screen time was part of the night, but it wasn’t the entire night. A big staple in our house was something we called “Mama Karateka.” I don’t even remember how it started, but it was essentially an aggressive form of pillow fighting. We’d jump around making karate moves and (gently) kick each other out of the way. Pillows were optional; the real focus was on intimidating each other with the most outlandish move we could come up with.

We’d also talk about our celebrity crushes, complain about school, and gossip about who was dating whom. Eventually, we’d all drop like flies, but those moments where we actually talked and had something to say to each other stayed with us. These memories are so vivid because we were fully present. We gave each other our attention, undistracted by whatever was happening out there in the ether.

Friendship meant being present in the same room, not just in the same group chat.

We crave deeper connections, it’s why there are so many apps designed for it. And yet, when we finally meet someone face to face and have a chance to build something meaningful, we often let ourselves be pulled away by the cold, superficial noise of the digital world.

So, what do your sleepovers look like today?

Are screens banned?

 Do you travel back in time to the analog days?

 Or are you all together in the same room, but not really there?